RIP

He could hardly talk, move & breath.

We were all by his bedside holding on tightly to his hands.
His condition worsen tremendously overnight.
We have a feeling that he might not make it till midnight.

He was trying so hard for the miracle 10% of survival,
He cannot bear to leave his family just like that.

He grasped for air but inhaled none,
We shouted his name to no response.

He was really gone this time ... ...

We were so sorry for not being able to save his life.

Brother, you will be remembered dearly in our hearts,
Your last hope & wish will be fulfilled by everyone in the family.

May you Rest In Peace.

Will there be a MIRACLE?

Do you remember quite sometimes back I wrote about the Prayer Card of Love & Hope air-flown over to me from the kind-hearted young Jamilla? Jamilla wrote in her recent post on the card preparation to the finished product. It was a lot of effort & she spend money on getting the good quality transparent sticker. I felt bad that she had to use her money to get it done. So sorry, Jamilla.
The Prayer Card is for my brother who is fighting his days over cancer all over his body. He is still in hospital now & doctor told us last month that there is no cure. He is counting down the days, how long he can survive will depend on his determination & will to hold on. Frankly, I have never seen a person so sick in my whole life. I tend to treasure my life & those around me more from this incident. We are so helpless beside his bed, what we see are constant images of him groaning in pain. The pain is excruciating, he is crying bcos of the pain. We are also crying in our heart seeing him fighting so hard for every second to survive. The morphine dosage has been increased to the maximum limit, but that is not enough cos the pain for cancer patient is accelerating over days. I really got no idea how long he can endure. I am sorry that his life has to be ended so very soon. He is our hero & a very very brave one !!

I thank you all who has send in their prayers for my brother. It is touching to have friends whom I have never met but showered love & care to my family.

I would like to take this opportunity to let the world know from my brother's experience :

1) See a SPECIALIST once you sense that something is seriously not quite right with you
2) DO NOT delay treatments, even if it mean borrowing money from someone.
3) DO NOT hide your illness from your family members or friends, they are those who are able to assist you
4) Eat a balanced diet
5) Have adequate rest, learn how to relax your mind & body, don't get too over-stress. Cancer is very much related to STRESS
6) Go for full body check-up yearly

A sentence from Jamilla "Make difference in your life by giving love, happiness, hope, joy, support and encouragement to the world!"

Let us all PRAY together for my brother ... ... will there be a miracle?

A Card of Prayers, Love, Hope & Faith....

Last Friday, a postman knocked on my door to deliver a registered mail for me. Its weird cos I hardly got any letters, not to say.... registered ones.

I was excited that it was from Brunei. Then I recall that I've got a blogger friend there.

Jamilla, thank you so much for your handmade card, it was so beautiful that I'm really lost for words. You are such a warming & kind friend to have made it for my brother & sending over prayers, love, hope & faith. I love the hearts of flower. You are such a creative young girl. It just made me smile. I hope it will do likewise to my brother. :)

He was discharged from the hospital yesterday after staying there for a week again. The cancer has spreaded even further now. He cant take anymore surgery, he can only prolong his life through chemotherapy. Doctor has spoken to him, the pain is accelerating everyday. He has just numbed another 4 more nerves on the lower part of the body. How long he can survive will depend solely on his fighting spirits now, I am constantly praying for him for lesser pain & if there is really miracle to turn things around? ... ...

Jamilla, you are right about my brother, he is really A HERO.

I would like to thanks those people whose name appeared in Jamilla's card.

Thanks for being part of my blogging family... Jamilla, Bobby, Marzie, Jean, Karen, MakeTraffic, Nafasg, Jesse, Trinity, Uncle Sam, Shinade, Bokjae, Joezul, Bobo, Santa Clause & Sandy G.

I want to take this opportunity to award to you (people in the list above) this which I receive it from Roger quite sometimes back. All of you just made me SMILE, it is just how wonderful friends are !!

I'm glad I found YOU ... ...

What's happening?

The one week stay over at my parent's house ended yesterday. The kids are back home.
I think they missed their grandparents, they missed climbing up & down those stairs & also at the pool... :)

They will have to wait till another school holiday for a stayover.

Not been really blogging for a week seems like I have been missing a lot of stuff. Can you guys update me what is happening around the blogosphere?

I went to visit my brother on Friday & glad to see that he was more jovial & chatting away with all of us. Doctor numbed 3 of his 5 nerve near the spine so that he cannot feel the pain caused by the bone cancer. He is struggling every min for a living chance & is prepared to do anything for it. He will be discharged from hospital these few days if he can cope with the lesser pain, but it will not be the last visit cos he need to return for chemotherapy. Leg amputation, lung surgery & the countless theraphy, treatments, medicine, x-ray, scanning.... all within a year. How can a human body withstand so much treatments? Why must he be the chosen one? Such a kind, loving husband, father, brother & son !! Deep down.... all of us know what is the worst scenario....

I will be back soon ...

Thank you all for the awards and meme I received during this week. Sorry that I am unable to leave comments or respond to you promptly, due to limited internet access over at my parent's house.

My brother's condition is not too good, he is still in hospital. We are seeing to each day how we could help him to suffer less.

Thank you for all of your concern.

I will try to catch up when I am back home.

You mean a lot to me....

I am very touched to see so many friends including my brother in their prayers.
Thanks to all of you. You may not know but all your thoughts & love mean a lot to me at this critical time.

I want to say thank you to Nafa for creating the above badge & Sending Their Ray of Hope
Karen for initiating all to my call for prayers
To Janice & Her brother with much love from Jesse
Marzie for her Love for me at Just For Janice
Bobby for Janice Needs A Prayer
BokJae for Support for Janice
Joezul's Prayer for Janice's brother


A special thanks also to Jackie for her Rose for Janice & her brother.
Trinity for Wishing all the best to my brother.
Maketraffic for Prayer for my brother.
Santa for Prayer for Janice.
Jamilla for Janice's brother is a hero.
Jean for initiating a prayer at Prayer's Room & God always send Rainbows after Rains

Brother, be strong ...

The lung surgery took about 4 hours.
His condition is more complicated than what we thought. An initial scan of 2 lumps turned out to be more than 10 times more. All were removed but he holds a question of what about the other lung?
He is still in ICU this morning but awake & alert.

He is in great pain on a scale of 0 to 10. He told us he is at 8. He is someone with high threshold of pain. A grade of 8 is something we could have no longer be able to bear.

The road to recovery is long & tough ... ...

What I see are images of him in pain now.

Thank you all for all your kind words & prayers.
Please do continue to pray for him !!

Pray for him

He is sick
Life has been miserable
Torture one after another

10am today
The operation will begin

I need everyone to pray for him
To wish him all smoothly & well

For he is....
My beloved brother !!

The long wait ...

I stayed over at the hospital yesterday nite to take care of my mum.

In fact, I just came back from the hospital not too long. My sis will stay over with her tonite.

She will be discharged tomorrow morning, thankfully ....

Her surgery wound (abt 10cm long) was cleaned & dressing changed (see equipment on the left) this morning after waited at the doctor's specialist clinic for a total of .......................... 2+ hrs. Can u believe it? Priority is not even given to her (she had an operation near her spine on Thurs & is still coping with a weak body) despite constant reminder to the nurses that she cannot withstand the long wait. I was expecting the nurses to say something like "Oh ok, we will try to arrange to let her see the doctor first", but NOT AT ALL !! The nurse can still say that there are 2 more customers in front of us... well ... well, what a disappointment!! After waited for an hr, there is still another customer. I look around again & realized that the customer who came after us have also been served. We are in fact the ........................LAST !! This is how they treat their hospital patient. According to the nurse, it is up to the doctor to select which patient he wants to see first. OMG !! I didn't want to make a big "hoo haa" when the doctor finally came to see my mum as I don't want anymore DELAY & also my mum's wound is still at his stake. I do not want her to suffer anymore. Anyway, really grateful that everything is over & my mum can finally return to her ward to have her lunch at nearly ... 2pm ... for someone who has diabetes also... sigh...

In case u are wondering which specialist clinic ... it is at MtE.

In a BLinK of an Eye ...

My mum visited this doctor 16 yrs ago....
I came to visit her everyday in the hospital after her operation the last time as it happened to be my school vacation.
Life is so unpredictable, ...

she undergone the same operation to overcome these old history of pain that she endured over the years. In layman terms, "soft" bones near her spine area has been accumulating over the years.... these added pressure on her nerve causing her to experience constant numbness. It could happen anywhere & anytime, this caused inconvenienced & prevent her from carrying out her daily routines. The pain was so unbearable (she could hardly moved, not even stand) last week that she decided to visit the doctor for another round of operation. The decision was fast, pre consultation, x-ray, confirm operation date, pre admission, operation, recuperating in hospital.... , tentative date of discharge is next week. She has slight diabetes & is on insulin for the past days to keep the level within the normal range.

Looking at her lying on the bed, she has really aged a lot ... Time has taken away her once strong body who has taken care of 8 children. I think it is really time that she should take a good rest. But she is those who cannot help not worrying about us despite that the youngest child, ie, me is already a mother of 2.

I don't know if I will be as brave as her when I am her age...

Mummy, we all love you & hope you could once again regain your strong legs to "come screaming after us" ..... :)

Mummy's mummy .... speedy recovery....

I have been rather busy recently bcos my mum is hospitalized.
I have to shuttle between the hospital, my dad's house & my home.
Very tiring...

I will return very soon with more updates of what happen...